Interview with Waynetta Smith

Hello and here were are in the heart of the Black Country, a place synonymous with hard graft and where the working classes have always strived to achieve the best for themselves and their family. Let’s see if we can find a willing member of the public to offer their opinion on the current situation facing this area and what Bertrand Russell has to say about improving life for all.
I: Good Morning Madam. I’m broadcasting live on Newsnight today. Would you mind answering a few questions?

C: Arr, go on then.

I: Thank you and what’s your name?

C: Waynetta Smith

I: Thank you. Woolworths have just announced massive losses and have gone into administration; do you think anything could be offered to help save the stores?

C: Ar. The Xbox games are dead expensive in Woollies; I think them cheaper at ASDA. And I think that the crisps are always cheaper in Asda an all. They should’ve taken a leaf out of their book and done em on 2 for 1.

I: Oh, er right. Well how about the working day for the staff. Do you think they should all work a few hours less, or drop all full time staff at 37 hours a week to 15 hours to try and cut overheads?

C: Blimey, I day think that people were allowed to work 15 hours a week never mind 37. Ay there some law about that? I cor work cos of me bad leg and 7 kids. And I wow get no benefits if I work so it doh effect me. Dunno really…

I: OK, well, er, perhaps if they were to work less hours there would be more jobs for people like yourself to go out and work.

C: Ya what? I ay got time to work. Its half past twelve now, I gotta go to the Post Office now for Child Benefit, then its Thrifty Thursday at the Mecca Bingo, where I meet me Mum and give her me washing and ironing, get the kids tea from the chippy on the way home, watch Eastenders and then meet me mates in the Legion for a few pints. Where the hell do you think I can fit work in there? There’s an old saying me Nan used to say, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’. Well I ay Jack but I ay gonna be able to work with all that going on am I?

I: Well I suppose not. Do you think the Government should step in and help?

C: Yeah, if I had childcare included in me benefits; I could have a few more hours in the week so I could go to fiver fever at Gala on a Monday afternoon.

I: Well, what I actually meant was, well, er, never mind…

C: Did you say this was live?

I: Yes

C: Oh bloody hell, should’ve phoned me boyfriend and he could’ve recorded it on the new knocked off DVD recorder that he bought from his mate Gazza.

I: Well thanks for that Waynetta. This is … reporting live from the hard working city of Wolverhampton (puzzled look on face)